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Lord A: Notes on Heartbreak / LF

Notes on Heartbreak

A debut essay collection by the inimitable cultural critic Maris Kreizman—an introspective, searing account of the life experiences that have pushed this former “good Democrat” even further to the political leftAt the heart of this funny, acerbic, and bravely honest book of essays is Maris Kreizman, a former rule follower and ambition monster who once believed the following truths to be self-evident: that working very hard would lead to admission to a good college, which would lead to a good job at a good company, which would then lead to personal fulfillment and a sense of purpose, along with adequate health care and eventual home ownership and plenty of money waiting in a retirement account. Like any good Democrat and feminist, she believed that if she just worked hard and played by the rules, she was guaranteed a safe and comfortable life.Now in her forties, the only thing Maris Kreizman knows for sure is that she no longer has faith in American institutions or any of their hollow promises. Now she knows that the rules are meant to serve some folks better than others; and, actually, they serve no one all that well—not even Kreizman. Disturbed by the depth and scope of the liberal myths in which she once so fervently believed, Kreizman takes readers on an intimate journey that revisits some of her most profound revelations, demonstrating that it’s never too late to become radicalized.With Kreizman’s signature wit and blunt self-reflection, and more than a little transformative rage, I Want to Burn This Place Down is a book for anyone who wishes they could go back in time to give their younger selves the real truth about the fractured country they have inherited—and the encouragement to rebuild something better in its place.

A debut essay collection by the inimitable cultural critic Maris Kreizman—an introspective, searing account of the life experiences that have pushed this former “good Democrat” even further to the political leftAt the heart of this funny, acerbic, and bravely honest book of essays is Maris Kreizman, a former rule follower and ambition monster who once believed the following truths to be self-evident: that working very hard would lead to admission to a good college, which would lead to a good job at a good company, which would then lead to personal fulfillment and a sense of purpose, along with adequate health care and eventual home ownership and plenty of money waiting in a retirement account. Like any good Democrat and feminist, she believed that if she just worked hard and played by the rules, she was guaranteed a safe and comfortable life.Now in her forties, the only thing Maris Kreizman knows for sure is that she no longer has faith in American institutions or any of their hollow promises. Now she knows that the rules are meant to serve some folks better than others; and, actually, they serve no one all that well—not even Kreizman. Disturbed by the depth and scope of the liberal myths in which she once so fervently believed, Kreizman takes readers on an intimate journey that revisits some of her most profound revelations, demonstrating that it’s never too late to become radicalized.With Kreizman’s signature wit and blunt self-reflection, and more than a little transformative rage, I Want to Burn This Place Down is a book for anyone who wishes they could go back in time to give their younger selves the real truth about the fractured country they have inherited—and the encouragement to rebuild something better in its place.

I Want to Burn This Place Down

By the New York Times's legendary war correspondent, written while battling terminal brain cancer: a life-affirming memoir of high adventure, deep wisdom, and finding true happiness amid the unlikeliest circumstances"This is, by far, the most enlightening and inspiring book&nbsp;on facing death-and on discovering the beauty of life." -Lynsey Addario, Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalistFor thirty years, Rod Nordland shadowed death. As one of his generation's preeminent war correspondents, he reported in over 150 countries, many of which were in violent upheaval, and was no stranger to witnessing tragedy. But in summer 2019, during the height of India's erratic monsoon season, Nordland was suddenly faced with a tragedy of his own: he collapsed in the middle of a morning jog, was rushed to the hospital, and diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor. After decades chasing conflicts across the globe, Nordland, now confined to a hospital bed, found the strength to face more personal conflicts. He reconnected with his estranged children and became closer with them than he ever thought possible. He repaired a friendship with a best friend that had been broken for twenty years. The arrogance and certitude that dominated his every action was replaced by a lucid sense of humility and generosity that persisted even after he left the hospital. Norland's tragedy became, in his own words, "a gift that has enriched my life."&nbsp;&nbsp;Waiting for the Monsoon&nbsp;is the exemplary story of confronting death with both eyes open, and of the human capacity to persevere even in the most difficult of times. With tremendous clarity, grace, and courage, Nordland has delivered a powerful final assignment, revealing how facing the unknown can transform experience and change our relationship to the world around us.&nbsp;

Waiting for the Monsoon

A gripping memoir of faith, family, identity, and stardom, in Devout pop star David Archuleta shares his story of leaving the Mormon church, navigating the relationship with his emotionally abusive father, coming to terms with his sexuality, and finding strength in being your authentic self.Three years ago American Idol alum and pop star David Archuleta found himself on the floor of his apartment, suicidal, riddled with anxiety, and pleading to a god he was no longer sure even existed. It was a crisis of faith and identity, but it was also a turning point for a man who grew up queer in the Mormon church with severe anxiety and constantly under the pressure of his overbearing manager of a father. After that night, David vowed to be his authentic self.Of course, the journey to authenticity is never easy, which is the story Archuleta shares in Devout. From his childhood growing up in the Mormon church, to allegations of sexual abuse against his father and step-grandfather, to his time on American Idol and how the show runners and producers mistreated their young contestants, Archuleta’s memoir is filled with earnest, revelatory anecdotes from his fascinating personal and public lives.Not just for Archuleta’s myriad fans, Devout is a universal story of hope, told with sincerity and humility. It’s a salve for anyone who’s felt different, questioned their faith, felt they were living inauthentically. Most importantly, it’s a story for anyone whose had to break yourself down in order to rebuild yourself stronger than ever, and that’s everyone.

A gripping memoir of faith, family, identity, and stardom, in Devout pop star David Archuleta shares his story of leaving the Mormon church, navigating the relationship with his emotionally abusive father, coming to terms with his sexuality, and finding strength in being your authentic self.Three years ago American Idol alum and pop star David Archuleta found himself on the floor of his apartment, suicidal, riddled with anxiety, and pleading to a god he was no longer sure even existed. It was a crisis of faith and identity, but it was also a turning point for a man who grew up queer in the Mormon church with severe anxiety and constantly under the pressure of his overbearing manager of a father. After that night, David vowed to be his authentic self.Of course, the journey to authenticity is never easy, which is the story Archuleta shares in Devout. From his childhood growing up in the Mormon church, to allegations of sexual abuse against his father and step-grandfather, to his time on American Idol and how the show runners and producers mistreated their young contestants, Archuleta’s memoir is filled with earnest, revelatory anecdotes from his fascinating personal and public lives.Not just for Archuleta’s myriad fans, Devout is a universal story of hope, told with sincerity and humility. It’s a salve for anyone who’s felt different, questioned their faith, felt they were living inauthentically. Most importantly, it’s a story for anyone whose had to break yourself down in order to rebuild yourself stronger than ever, and that’s everyone.

Devout

"Expertly choreographed and long overdue, this is the nuanced reckoning ballet needs, ballerinas deserve, and all feminists should note." -Oprah DailyAn incisive exploration of ballet’s role in the modern world, told through the experience of the author and her classmates at the most elite ballet school in the country: the School of American Ballet.Growing up, Alice Robb dreamed of becoming a ballet dancer. But by age fifteen, she had to face the reality that she would never meet the impossibly high standards of the hyper-competitive ballet world. After she quit, she tried to avoid ballet—only to realize, years later, that she was still haunted by the lessons she had absorbed in the mirror-lined studios of Lincoln Center, and that they had served her well in the wider world. The traits ballet takes to an extreme—stoicism, silence, submission—are valued in girls and women everywhere.Profound, nuanced, and passionately researched, Don’t Think, Dear is Robb’s excavation of her adolescent years as a dancer and an exploration of how those days informed her life for years to come.As she grapples with the pressure she faced as a student at the School of American Ballet, she investigates the fates of her former classmates as well. From sweet and innocent Emily, whose body was deemed thin enough only when she was too ill to eat, to precocious and talented Meiying, who was thrilled to be cast as the young star of the Nutcracker but dismayed to see Asians stereotyped onstage, and Lily, who won the carrot they had all been chasing—an apprenticeship with the New York City Ballet—only to spend her first season dancing eight shows a week on a broken foot.Theirs are stories of heartbreak and resilience, of reinvention and regret. Along the way, Robb weaves in the myths of famous ballet personalities past and present, from the groundbreaking Misty Copeland, who rose from poverty to become an icon of American ballet, to the blind diva Alicia Alonso, who used the heat of the spotlights and the vibrations of the music to navigate space onstage. By examining the psyche of a dancer, Don’t Think, Dear grapples with the contradictions and challenges of being a woman today.

"Expertly choreographed and long overdue, this is the nuanced reckoning ballet needs, ballerinas deserve, and all feminists should note." -Oprah DailyAn incisive exploration of ballet’s role in the modern world, told through the experience of the author and her classmates at the most elite ballet school in the country: the School of American Ballet.Growing up, Alice Robb dreamed of becoming a ballet dancer. But by age fifteen, she had to face the reality that she would never meet the impossibly high standards of the hyper-competitive ballet world. After she quit, she tried to avoid ballet—only to realize, years later, that she was still haunted by the lessons she had absorbed in the mirror-lined studios of Lincoln Center, and that they had served her well in the wider world. The traits ballet takes to an extreme—stoicism, silence, submission—are valued in girls and women everywhere.Profound, nuanced, and passionately researched, Don’t Think, Dear is Robb’s excavation of her adolescent years as a dancer and an exploration of how those days informed her life for years to come.As she grapples with the pressure she faced as a student at the School of American Ballet, she investigates the fates of her former classmates as well. From sweet and innocent Emily, whose body was deemed thin enough only when she was too ill to eat, to precocious and talented Meiying, who was thrilled to be cast as the young star of the Nutcracker but dismayed to see Asians stereotyped onstage, and Lily, who won the carrot they had all been chasing—an apprenticeship with the New York City Ballet—only to spend her first season dancing eight shows a week on a broken foot.Theirs are stories of heartbreak and resilience, of reinvention and regret. Along the way, Robb weaves in the myths of famous ballet personalities past and present, from the groundbreaking Misty Copeland, who rose from poverty to become an icon of American ballet, to the blind diva Alicia Alonso, who used the heat of the spotlights and the vibrations of the music to navigate space onstage. By examining the psyche of a dancer, Don’t Think, Dear grapples with the contradictions and challenges of being a woman today.

On Loving and Leaving Ballet

Don't Think, Dear

In this humorous memoir, New York Times bestselling author Father James Martin, SJ shares summer by summer, job by job, how a former paperboy, lawnmower, busboy, dishwasher, caddy, usher, waiter, bank teller, assembly-line worker, corporate tool became a Jesuit priest.Work in Progress is a snapshot of several years--from a boy, then a teenager, and finally a young adult--of being thrown into a series of jobs that Father Martin had zero training. He never once set foot in a restaurant kitchen before working as a busboy; never stepped onto a golf course before working as a caddy; and never once seen a factory floor before working as an assembly-line worker. He almost always felt uncomfortable, unsettled, and uneasy. But, we've all done jobs we didn't love because we needed the money.This is a come of age in the 1960s and 1970s story but not all aspects. It is a lighthearted tale for readers that enjoy personal narratives and is unlike anything Father Martin has written before. As he puts it, "This is a spiritual memoir from a different angle, then told "slant" as Emily Dickson might say."Each chapter features treasured photos of memories and milestones throughout Father Martin's life. If you're an aficionado of snafus, you won't be disappointed. He's not the hero in these stories, more a hapless teenager who learns in each job, even the ones he loathes, something about the value of work, about what it means to be an adult, about people, and about life overall.Work in Progress teaches us small lessons that we should all practice: work hard, be on time, don't be mean, apologize when you need to, forgive frequently, ask if you don't know something, don't misuse power, pay attention to those struggling, be kind, and listen.

Confessions of a paperboy, lawnmower, busboy, dishwasher, caddy, usher, waiter, bank teller, assembly-line worker, corporate tool, and priest

Work in Progress

"Selvaratnam very bravely and compellingly uses her personal experience to shine a light on the global crisis of violence against women. An important book for the women's rights movement, Assume Nothing demonstrates that violence against women exists across race, class, economic status and education levels, and may be perpetrated by those we think of as allies! It dispels the myth that there are certain types of victims and perpetrators. It will help a lot of people, and particularly those who hesitate to identify as a victim/survivor for fear of losing their grounding both publicly and privately."-Yasmeen Hassan, Global Executive Director, Equality Now"This courageous and terrifying book charts the author's descent into an abusive relationship and also her emergence from it in taut, seductive prose. Selvaratnam explains how-even as an educated, sophisticated, liberal feminist-she was enthralled by her lover's fame and tolerated escalating personal violence. Her narrative is vivid and bracingly frank, a tour-de-force of self-revelation and, ultimately, of redemption."-Andrew Solomon, National Book Award-winning author of&nbsp;Far from the Tree&nbsp;and&nbsp;The Noonday DemonAward-winning filmmaker Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered from former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, using her story as a prism to examine the domestic violence crisis plaguing America. When Tanya Selvaratnam met then New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman at the Democratic National Convention in July 2016, they seemed like the perfect match. Both were Harvard alumni; both studied Chinese; both were interested in spirituality and meditation, both were well-connected rising stars in their professions-Selvaratnam in entertainment and the art world; Schneiderman in law and politics.&nbsp;Behind closed doors, however, Tanya's life was anything but ideal. Schneiderman became controlling, mean, and manipulative. He drank heavily and used sedatives. Sex turned violent, and he called Tanya-who was born in Sri Lanka and grew up in Southern California-his "brown slave." He isolated and manipulated her, even threatening to kill her if she tried to leave.&nbsp;Twenty-five percent of women in America are victims of domestic abuse. Tanya never thought she would be a part of this statistic. Growing up, she witnessed her father physically and emotionally abuse her mother. Tanya knew the patterns and signs of domestic violence, and did not see herself as remotely vulnerable. Yet what seemed impossible was suddenly a terrifying reality: she was trapped in a violent relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York.&nbsp;Sensitive and nuanced, written with the gripping power of a dark psychological thriller, Assume Nothing details how Tanya's relationship devolved into abuse, how she found the strength to leave-risking her career, reputation, and life-and how she reclaimed her freedom and her voice. In sharing her story, Tanya analyzes the insidious way women from all walks of life learn to accept abuse, and redefines what it means to be a victim of intimate violence.

“Selvaratnam very bravely and compellingly uses her personal experience to shine a light on the global crisis of violence against women. An important book for the women’s rights movement, Assume Nothing demonstrates that violence against women exists across race, class, economic status and education levels, and may be perpetrated by those we think of as allies! It dispels the myth that there are certain types of victims and perpetrators. It will help a lot of people, and particularly those who hesitate to identify as a victim/survivor for fear of losing their grounding both publicly and privately.”—Yasmeen Hassan, Global Executive Director, Equality Now“This courageous and terrifying book charts the author’s descent into an abusive relationship and also her emergence from it in taut, seductive prose. Selvaratnam explains how—even as an educated, sophisticated, liberal feminist—she was enthralled by her lover’s fame and tolerated escalating personal violence. Her narrative is vivid and bracingly frank, a tour-de-force of self-revelation and, ultimately, of redemption.”—Andrew Solomon, National Book Award-winning author of&nbsp;Far from the Tree&nbsp;and&nbsp;The Noonday DemonAward-winning filmmaker Tanya Selvaratnam bravely recounts the intimate abuse she suffered from former New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, using her story as a prism to examine the domestic violence crisis plaguing America.When Tanya Selvaratnam met then New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman at the Democratic National Convention in July 2016, they seemed like the perfect match. Both were Harvard alumni; both studied Chinese; both were interested in spirituality and meditation, both were well-connected rising stars in their professions—Selvaratnam in entertainment and the art world; Schneiderman in law and politics.&nbsp;Behind closed doors, however, Tanya’s life was anything but ideal. Schneiderman became controlling, mean, and manipulative. He drank heavily and used sedatives. Sex turned violent, and he called Tanya—who was born in Sri Lanka and grew up in Southern California—his “brown slave.” He isolated and manipulated her, even threatening to kill her if she tried to leave.&nbsp;Twenty-five percent of women in America are victims of domestic abuse. Tanya never thought she would be a part of this statistic. Growing up, she witnessed her father physically and emotionally abuse her mother. Tanya knew the patterns and signs of domestic violence, and did not see herself as remotely vulnerable. Yet what seemed impossible was suddenly a terrifying reality: she was trapped in a violent relationship with one of the most powerful men in New York.&nbsp;Sensitive and nuanced, written with the gripping power of a dark psychological thriller, Assume Nothing details how Tanya’s relationship devolved into abuse, how she found the strength to leave—risking her career, reputation, and life—and how she reclaimed her freedom and her voice. In sharing her story, Tanya analyzes the insidious way women from all walks of life learn to accept abuse, and redefines what it means to be a victim of intimate violence.

A Story of Intimate Violence

Assume Nothing

Profoundly honest and moving, Kihiani is the uplifting story of an Inuk artist’s journey to healing and self-discovery&nbsp;Born in Fort Churchill, Manitoba, but raised in Arviat, a predominantly Inuit community on the western edges of Hudson Bay, Susan and her six siblings grew up in a humble but loving home. But while living in Rankin Inlet, when she was eight years old, Susan’s life was disrupted by a life-changing event, a distinct separation that created a schism inside her for many years and from which she continues to heal.At fifteen, she started writing poems that spilled out of her, and when Susan had the choice to leave her community, she grabbed it like a lifeline. Eventually, Susan was approached by a producer at CBC who was making a compilation album of Arctic artists and years later signed with a major label for her third album, This Child.&nbsp;The disruption and milestones, the turmoil and joy, the devastation and healing—this is Susan Aglukark’s story of discovering her Inuk self.&nbsp;

Profoundly honest and moving, Kihiani is the uplifting story of an Inuk artist’s journey to healing and self-discovery&nbsp;Born in Fort Churchill, Manitoba, but raised in Arviat, a predominantly Inuit community on the western edges of Hudson Bay, Susan and her six siblings grew up in a humble but loving home. But while living in Rankin Inlet, when she was eight years old, Susan’s life was disrupted by a life-changing event, a distinct separation that created a schism inside her for many years and from which she continues to heal.At fifteen, she started writing poems that spilled out of her, and when Susan had the choice to leave her community, she grabbed it like a lifeline. Eventually, Susan was approached by a producer at CBC who was making a compilation album of Arctic artists and years later signed with a major label for her third album, This Child.&nbsp;The disruption and milestones, the turmoil and joy, the devastation and healing—this is Susan Aglukark’s story of discovering her Inuk self.&nbsp;

A Memoir of Healing

Kihiani

A devastating personal testimony and a searing indictment of persistent misogyny.In January 2017, Chimene Suleyman was on her way to an abortion clinic in Queens, New York with her boyfriend, the father of her nascent child. It was the last day they would spend together. In an extraordinary sequence of events, Chimene was to discover the truth of her boyfriend's life: that the man she’d loved had gaslit, lied to, stolen from, and painfully betrayed her and many others.In this spellbinding memoir, Suleyman exposes one man's control over many women and the trauma he left behind and celebrates the sisterhood that formed in his wake despite—and in spite of—him. With radiant prose and incisive observation, Suleyman questions society’s complicity in allowing those who would do women harm to flourish and contemplates why others remain silent witnesses by accepting and normalizing shameless behavior towards women. She demonstrates how women themselves are acculturated to perform prescribed roles of giver and nurturer, to be self-sacrificing and subordinate, and to bolster the egos of others by remaining silent and ignoring their own protective instincts.A soul-baring story, brilliant cultural critique, and celebration of the healing power of sisterhood, The Chain is a book for any woman who has questioned her relationship and buried her doubts, for any woman who can't quite identify the source of her unease and for any woman who has been sheltered by the fierce protection of her female friends.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Love, Betrayal, and the Sisterhood That Heals Us

The Chain

A Guide to Building a “Beaurtiful” and Everlasting Relationship

The Way Love Goes

Three Wild Dogs (and the truth)

Untitled Bogdanovich Memoir

Joining the growing Black creative movement currently refashioning horses and cowboy imagery, a thoughtful, probing exploration of the shared history of Blackness and horses which reveals what its image can teach us about nationhood, race, and culture. Drawing on their personal history as a former urban equestrian, Black queer person, and child of Jamaican and Filipino immigrants, essayist and art critic Bitter Kalli contends the horse should be regarded as a critical source of power and identity in Black life.In a series of astute essays, Kalli explores the work of Black artists and influencers from Beyoncé to filmmakers Tiona Nekkia-McClodden and Jeymes Samuel and explores their own life-long relationship to equines. Alternatively playful and critical, meditative and biting, these essays navigate time and place—from the shadows of racetracks where jockey culture and the ubiquity of “equestrian chic” was born, to the reclamation—or, in Lil Nas X’s word, yeehawification—of the image of the cowboy, to the fraught connections of equestrian sport to slavery, US militarization, and European colonial domination. At heart, Kalli probes a central question: What does it mean for Black people to ride and tend horses in the context of a culture that has also used horses against them?Throughout these essays, Kalli reflects on the experience of being the only Black member of the equestrian team at Columbia University, and how the aesthetics, ethos, and practice of horse stewardship contributed to their understanding of gender, sexuality, and radical community building. Mounted moves beyond the reductive stereotypes that dominate our perceptions of “horse people”—the swaggering masculinity, snooty elitism, and assumed whiteness—to reveal how Black people relate to the image and physical presence of the horse in nature and culture, considering violence, sexualization, power, migration, and more through its image.

Joining the growing Black creative movement currently refashioning horses and cowboy imagery, a thoughtful, probing exploration of the shared history of Blackness and horses which reveals what its image can teach us about nationhood, race, and culture. Drawing on their personal history as a former urban equestrian, Black queer person, and child of Jamaican and Filipino immigrants, essayist and art critic Bitter Kalli contends the horse should be regarded as a critical source of power and identity in Black life.In a series of astute essays, Kalli explores the work of Black artists and influencers from Beyoncé to filmmakers Tiona Nekkia-McClodden and Jeymes Samuel and explores their own life-long relationship to equines. Alternatively playful and critical, meditative and biting, these essays navigate time and place—from the shadows of racetracks where jockey culture and the ubiquity of “equestrian chic” was born, to the reclamation—or, in Lil Nas X’s word, yeehawification—of the image of the cowboy, to the fraught connections of equestrian sport to slavery, US militarization, and European colonial domination. At heart, Kalli probes a central question: What does it mean for Black people to ride and tend horses in the context of a culture that has also used horses against them?Throughout these essays, Kalli reflects on the experience of being the only Black member of the equestrian team at Columbia University, and how the aesthetics, ethos, and practice of horse stewardship contributed to their understanding of gender, sexuality, and radical community building. Mounted moves beyond the reductive stereotypes that dominate our perceptions of “horse people”—the swaggering masculinity, snooty elitism, and assumed whiteness—to reveal how Black people relate to the image and physical presence of the horse in nature and culture, considering violence, sexualization, power, migration, and more through its image.

On Horses, Blackness, and Liberation

Mounted

Notes on Heartbreak

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